Been busy making these paper snowflakes: Mil's 2nd birthday is coming up and my idea is to hang these in her bedroom so that when she wakes up in the morning she sees them. They'll also double up as wrapping decorations for Christmas presents or just to hang up and look pretty! There's a great website which has some lovely designs and I was also inspired by How About Orange and her very pretty designs.
I'm getting a bit obsessed with them so I'm breaking off every now and then to work on a crochet box I've started (taken from Kirstie's Homemade Home); bit of a blurry pic, but you get the idea. This is the first 'proper' crochet project I've attempted apart from granny squares, so it's quite thrilling.... and I think I've finally got the hang of it now I've done the fourth side! The first three were all a bit wonky as I was just making it all over-complicated.... I had to borrow a book from the library to learn how to do the stitches properly, as lovely as Kirstie's book appears to be, it is very lacking in detail for a beginner.
Anyhow, that's on hold as I've run out of the wool I was using..... so I may have to finally start a fabric project, which I haven't been interested in doing for a while now. I thought I'd try this lovely tutorial by Ayumi from Pink Penguin which I bookmarked ages ago.
Generally I've been feeling much more positive since taking Bach Flower Remedies. Even after just a couple of days I felt more confident and calmer, quite amazing. The midwife was very reassuring when she visited and she also phoned to check on the progress with the doctor - none - which was kind of her. I rang the surgery and was told a doctor would call me back at some point that day, which he did, but I didn't manage to get to the phone in time.... he called back later that day and said he "didn't have time to deal with me as he was off to Cambodia for ten days" and that a colleague would call me back the next day - nice. As it happened, apparently she did try to call, but couldn't get through (?) and left no message so I had no idea she'd tried until the midwife told me. So, after wasting two days sitting by the phone waiting for a call I decided that it was just a waste of time.
All I had expected the doctor to offer was counselling or medication, neither of which I think would be particularly beneficial for how I've been feeling anyway. Aside from the rudeness of that first doctor who called, they are a pretty good bunch at the surgery but I do think I'm better just getting on with things as I am. At least I know that the midwife is understanding and she has offered to come and visit anytime I feel I need her to, which is really good, as I know how overworked they are.
As much as I hate feeling as shitty as I have been, I also think it's kind of healthy to go through this kind of thing: there are many shades of emotion in everyone after all, and what would be the point of forever being a sort of squishy pale pink? I'm not suggesting that it's a good idea to wallow forever in a pit of self-despair, but it is a part of who I am and it would be more unhealthy to just ignore it.
And here's a pic of my lovely smiling girl, who helps make my grey days feel much sunnier!